So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
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