actually, I'm a sock model
I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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