I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Randomize
