I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
