question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
Randomize
