We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
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