I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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