She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
Randomize
