Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
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