you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
I can't trust your balls anymore.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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