You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
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