I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Randomize
