And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
Randomize