hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
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