I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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