i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Randomize
