idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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