It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
