you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
Randomize
