Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
