Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
Randomize