is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
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