you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
Randomize
