when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
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