just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
not ubering you a puppy
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
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