you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
