you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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