Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
