Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
Randomize
