so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
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