My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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