i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
