Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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