If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
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