I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
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