The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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