u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
Randomize