I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
