No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
You ate ashes out of my bong
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
