sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Randomize
