ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Randomize
