Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
