Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
