We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
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