bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
