i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Randomize