I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Randomize
