what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Randomize
