At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
