I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Randomize
