I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Randomize
