Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
