thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
