we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
