Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
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