Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
