saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
